2021 on a personal level for me, has been shite. Just not that great at all. There have been struggles at every corner. Personal struggles with my ex. Healthcare issues, physical and mental. Relationship issues. Now, the charity, well, a CIC, but no one really seems to understand the difference, that I get in the way of running has had a loss of £30k of bikes. Given that bikes cost that now, this may not seem like a lot. In the grand scheme of things, it isn’t, but beyond the monetary value, these bikes inspired hope in many young people, which has now been whipped away.
The loss of these bikes (and boards and ramps missed from the original post as we felt they were not distinctive enough and the hope that insurance would cover them) was gutting. This year, my mental health has been a bit of a nightmare, and this loss was almost the final nail in the coffin of what is left of my hope. I wanted to burn everything around me down. In a metaphorical sense, definitely not a literal sense. I am now trying to take time and put all the blocks of my thinking back together.
I am not sharing this for sympathy, although I wouldn’t mind a donation to the Go Fund Me; it is another reason I have found it hard to ride my bike this year. Getting out the front door has been really hard this year. I have found writing to be therapeutic before. By putting these words out, maybe other people will realise they are not alone, and hopefully, the fog in my mind will start to dissipate.
Now, I am on an upcurve. I want to build on these setbacks and build a robust foundation. Rather than relying on donations and goodwill to rebuild, there will be events and fun times. Times where we can create a stronger community, one with ever-stronger ties, bonds that will be difficult to break. There are designs sorted for a BMX/MTB event, and the plans are being drawn for a tracklocross event with a difference. The winners and losers of these events will not be important. What will be important is the friendships made.
Cycling is fun, and it is easy to forget that. Being surrounded by cycling, and even worse, cyclists can make you forget that, which was one of the reasons I set off down the tracklocross route. There is way less bullshit; technical innovation doesn’t appear every week and make you need an entirely new bike. Ride what you brought and just have fun skidding around the world, although do think about trail erosion.